I don't quite know what to title this entry. I hope you will bear with me (Sarah) while I step up on my soapbox for a little while and share some things a little more personal to my heart.
We are studying "Strengthen Yourself in the Lord" by Bill Johnson, at church. It is an awesome book. It is challenging every "comfort" zone I've ever known in my Christian walk and causing me to re-examine my walk with the Lord.
I started looking back through some old journals the other day and was amazed at the fire and passion I had as a young teenager. God was doing so much in my heart and life and in those around me. I was ignited and burning for Him. Somewhere in my older teens I grew frustrated with the way life was going and the fire in me began to die out. I didn't know what to do and in some ways I rebelled.
Thank goodness He loves me too much to leave me alone! The last few years have been very difficult for me as I have struggled to hold on to what I KNOW is true without being able to reconcile everything happening around me.
Our church has been going through a united desire for change and new life. We all recognize we need to move in unity and we need more than what we have. We were meant to have so much more in Christ! I am in agreement with all that but find that with my excitement for more also comes frustration that I don't know how to get there.
Last night the Lord spoke so clearly to me about what he wants from me. Once again it is so simple. He just wants relationship. Not desperate prayers when things are bad, not memorized lines at mealtimes, H e w a n t s m e . My focus needs to be always on how good and great is our God. No matter what's falling to pieces around me I need to see Him. My burdens weren't meant for me to carry alone. I'm to drop them at His feet and then I have to let them go and start worshipping, again, and again, and again, the God who takes them for me.
Sounds a little too positive for you? It is! Life in Christ was meant to be alive, exciting and new every morning! Everything about God is good ALL THE TIME! The devil will do everything he can to distract us from God's goodness because if he can do that he can undermine our confidence and hope. When we are so focused on God that we lay what's happening at His feet and choose to praise the Creator in the midst of the storm, the devil loses, God wins and we win with Him because we are heirs of every promise the Bible speaks about.
So this is where I am. The pessimist in me is being overtaken by the optimist. My hunger is to be worshipping daily, anywhere, anytime. Because all that matters is that He created me, loved me, died for me, redeemed me and has offered me all the promises of heaven, even as I walk here on earth.
There is more to come but this is what I have to share at this moment.